Impotent
Lately.., well the past coupla of days or so, I've had this feeling of powerlessness. This overwhelming feeling has come to me mainly from the tsunami(s) in Asia. While I know it's not the best thing, I just want to fly there and help.
I've also had other problems adding to this sensation. My parents went on a cruise, and I picked them up from the airport. I was driving in the far left lane going thru the tollbooth. My dad was in the front seat, and my mom was in the back. We went thru the tollbooth, and my mom yelped my dad's name with panic in her exclamation. I looked over and my dad was shaking and didn't have the ability to move... He was having a seizure. He turned out to be okay, but.. while I was confused, trying to figure out how to call, what to do, and how to get all the way over 10 lanes of traffic - I noticed blood coming from his mouth. I thought that might be it... Luckily, once his seizure stopped (a couple of infinity-like (ok, i know that's not a word) minutes) he was still breathing, and the tollway helper people pointed out he just bit his tongue. It was one of those situations where there is really nothing you can do.
He's okay now, just has to be on medicine for the rest of his life. But it was really scary. Oh, and the other point on powerlessness - doctors. They seem to not really be able to do so much. They run tests and then shrug their shoulders. Of course, they don't know what caused it.
My best friend's dad has been really sick too, and we're not sure if someone can help him.
So, anyhow, I've had this feeling of powerlessness. I was thinking, wow!, it's so hard to really make a positive difference. And then I really thought about how easy it is to make a negative difference, how easy it is to hurt. How easy it is to cause damage and break people, and relationships down. I started wondering if people who do these things, do them out of fear and a feeling of powerlessness. I wonder if they've tried and tried to make things better, to be a positive influence in someone's life. If after years and years of trying, they got tired of being powerless. Do they then resort to 'trouble-making' and being destructive - both with people and material things............?
I mean, do they do this a way to have an effect, to not be invisible?
Is this where anger comes from?
I've also had other problems adding to this sensation. My parents went on a cruise, and I picked them up from the airport. I was driving in the far left lane going thru the tollbooth. My dad was in the front seat, and my mom was in the back. We went thru the tollbooth, and my mom yelped my dad's name with panic in her exclamation. I looked over and my dad was shaking and didn't have the ability to move... He was having a seizure. He turned out to be okay, but.. while I was confused, trying to figure out how to call, what to do, and how to get all the way over 10 lanes of traffic - I noticed blood coming from his mouth. I thought that might be it... Luckily, once his seizure stopped (a couple of infinity-like (ok, i know that's not a word) minutes) he was still breathing, and the tollway helper people pointed out he just bit his tongue. It was one of those situations where there is really nothing you can do.
He's okay now, just has to be on medicine for the rest of his life. But it was really scary. Oh, and the other point on powerlessness - doctors. They seem to not really be able to do so much. They run tests and then shrug their shoulders. Of course, they don't know what caused it.
My best friend's dad has been really sick too, and we're not sure if someone can help him.
So, anyhow, I've had this feeling of powerlessness. I was thinking, wow!, it's so hard to really make a positive difference. And then I really thought about how easy it is to make a negative difference, how easy it is to hurt. How easy it is to cause damage and break people, and relationships down. I started wondering if people who do these things, do them out of fear and a feeling of powerlessness. I wonder if they've tried and tried to make things better, to be a positive influence in someone's life. If after years and years of trying, they got tired of being powerless. Do they then resort to 'trouble-making' and being destructive - both with people and material things............?
I mean, do they do this a way to have an effect, to not be invisible?
Is this where anger comes from?
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